5 Things to Know Before Getting into a Long Distance Relationship
Long distance relationships are always difficult to maintain. They often collapse under the heavy weight of a lack of physical interaction, escalating credit card bills, trips to the faraway land to meet them and frequent skyping. Only a few lucky couples are able to make them work. So, if you don’t wish to learn “someone’s absence makes the heart grow fonder” the hard way, continue reading to imagine what a long distance relationship actually feels like.
1. LDRs Are Mostly Just Promises:
Let’s get one thing straight; a relationship isn’t complete without physical interaction. Anyone who tells you otherwise has learned nothing over the years. Long distance relationships are more like promises and expectations a partner makes with their other half; promises about how a relationship will be once you two get together. You tell your partner things like how much you wished you were there, what would you have done, how you would have laughed/cried with them, how you would have helped them relieve their stress and much more. All these are promises and expectations only become a reality when fulfilled.
2. LDRs Can’t Stay LDRs Forever:
You can’t expect your partner to spend all their life based on a promise you made to them years ago. If you want your relationships to work, you will have to take out the time for them and plan actual meet ups, even if that includes taking a 20 hour trip to reach to them. It is expected of you to do so. Skype is not the permanent solution. You will only be able to sustain a long distance relationship if you fulfill all the promises you made online in reality by actually showing up and doing things together.
If you are in a long distance relationship, you need to have a future goal in mind. Both the partners need to think and discuss where their relationship will be in the next 5 years. Are they looking for a permanent relocation, are they looking at a vacation together in the summers or is it still going to be over Skype?
3. Physical Absence will Start to Bother:
Ask a soldier on duty for 9 months straight what it feels like to be hugged by that special someone in their lives. it is common sense that when you are in a long distance relationship, even the smallest of gestures, like holding each other’s hand, dining out together cuddling and spooning, watching a movie together on the couch, being there to support at home when they feel low, argue, kiss, dance together or even seeing them smile up close will seem big.
You will crave nearness and the lack of it will nearly kill you. You may try sexting but that will only work for a couple of months before it really starts to become more of an issue. Physical affection from a partner is important. Even the most advanced technological apps can’t replace face-to-face interaction.
If you think your relationships can work without any chance of intimacy, you may want to reconsider before getting in one.
4. Time Zones will Become a Hindrance:
LDRs that span over different time zones are more difficult to sustain, especially if their night time is your waking up time and your good evenings are their good mornings. When separated by hundreds of miles, relationships suffer due to a lack of communication. Fights are usually on topics like you promised to stay up and talk but you slept without telling me. Even if it wasn’t done on purpose, it does cause frustration and becomes a reason to fight.
Understand that long distance relationships require a lot of patience from both the partners. You can’t always expect to be taken for granted and neither can your partner. If you can handle the pressure of adjusting to their times zones, craft a schedule and live up to it, long distance relationships are for you. However, if not, it’s better not to initiate one and prevent heartache in the near future.
5. Jealousy and Insecurity will Eventually Breed:
We have already established that a lack of physical presence will itself start to bother after sometime in a LDR. It is also normal for partners which live miles away to feel insecure. There may be a 100 reasons why they aren’t able to give you time (tough work schedules, socializing with friends, giving family proper time, time zone difference etc.) but the most convenient one is to assume that they are cheating on you with someone else. If one of the partners is a jealous-type, this can be very problematic. Wishing you were there beside them and not actually being there in real is going to increase the tension. It will start to feel more like rejection when you believe that your partner’s first priority isn’t you and they enjoy doing things with their friends more than talking to you.
If you can assure your partner that you can be fully trusted and show how much they mean to you through your gestures, a long distance relationship is for you.