Questions To Ask and Questions Not To Ask On Your First Date

It isn’t hard to spot those first-time daters in a bistro café. Nicely dressed, with a nervous and tensed look on their faces, looking and scanning everyone that comes in the front door; yes, they are the ones we are talking about. Once their potential date arrives, they stand up, greet them with a smile while still being tense and try to initiate a conversation by talking about something as random as the weather outside. Halfway during the salad round, they both have decided they aren’t meant for each other because there is no common ground to talk about.

This could happen to you. That partner could have turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to you but since you didn’t know how to approach them correctly, you miss out on a great opportunity. The key to the perfect first date is to have relaxed conversation about things that you both enjoy talking about without feeling the pressure of revealing too much or too little about yourself. Therefore, it all comes down to asking the right questions, which is what this blog post is about.

Subjects to Talk About

Influential People:

This could be a great topic to talk on as each one of us has been inspired by someone in your lives. It could be your parents, your teachers, your mentors or some celebrity. The answer could be a great insight to learn about who he/she truly admires. People who inspire us and our idols say a lot about our own personalities. The reason we admire someone is because we want to become like them. It could be Nelson Mandela, Bill Gates or Kanye West. Whoever it is, it tells you a lot about the type of person they are and wish to become in the near future.

Things that Make them Laugh:

There is nothing more delightful than dating a person with a good sense of humor. Asking about things that makes them happy, smile or go into fits of laughter is another great conversation starter. It could be anything from a child’s smile to watching an old couple on the escalator teasing one another. This can easily lead to hearing funny incidents from the past which will make the first date all the more comfortable and less awkward.

Movies, Music and TV Shows:

This is universally the world’s best icebreaker. Even if one doesn’t listen to music, watch TV shows or goes out for movies frequently, they will still be familiar with what’s trending and what’s not. There is a 90% chance that some mutual ground will be recognized, all thanks to advanced technology.

Future Plans:

This is always a risky attempt to make with a potential date. It could go either way. It may make you appear clingy and desperate for a relationship or might make you appear to be boring with no room for spontaneous adventures. It’s best to avoid asking such a question unless you have the perfect answer to offer when asked the same.

True Calling in Life:

Asking if they are happy with the person they are today can also offer great insights into a potential partner’s mind. Only a few achieve self-actualization and most of us are still trying to figure out where we need to be. This question will allow them to open up about themselves and talk about their aspirations in life.

Subjects to Avoid

The ex-factor

Talking about your ex on the first date is like naming “he who must not be named”. They are off limits, unless you want your date to think one of these two things, (a) you still haven’t gotten over her/him, (b) you were the problem in the relationship because you have to say bitter things about them. Both these scenarios aren’t suitable to be in; so, better to avoid it.

Talking about your Weird Fetishes

No need to scare off your potential partner by revealing your weird fixations. Instead of telling them that you have a thing for nerds or clowns, rather show off your good side. First dates are all about making the right impression. Sooner or later, they will find out about that thing you have for nerds when you are with them. Don’t scare them off by posing as a psycho.

Talking About your Family Issues

No need to tell your date that you haven’t talked to your sister since 1997 because she made fun of you in front of the whole school or haven’t been in touch with your mom after she got you that awful hairstyle. Whatever issues you have with your family and friends, they are not great conversation starters, at least for the first time you meet them. If they stick by, they are most definitely going to know about your complex family dramas. So, don’t reveal too much the first time around.